Entry #477

Time: 6:21 am
Location: Watershed Heights basement, on a shelf
Temperature: 23° Celsius
Humidity: 84%


          I hate engineers. 


Time: 6:23 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


         Whatever total nitwit designed this structure deserves to be forcibly removed from practice, then chopped into small pieces with a spade and fed to someone's cat. Slowly.


Time: 6:24 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


          Damn engineering. It takes a complete incompetent to design a set of stairs that will behave exactly like a waterfall when it inevitably rains, and then...wait for it...not think to weatherstrip the door. I hold two doctorates in botany and plant biology. I know nothing about building structure, but even I would have thought to deal with that small detail.
          There are three inches of feculent water swimming around my basement. 


Time: 6:25 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


        Where are my boots? I'm going to get toxoplasmosis and die. All the bird crap in this water looks decidedly unhealthy. Where's my dust mask?


Time: 6:30 am
Location: On the steps, outside the basement door
Temperature: 20° Celsius
Humidity: 100% 


          I had to find my rain bonnet, too. It's coming down in buckets outside, but I've managed to slog my way over to the door and force it open against the torrent of filth coming down my stairs.
          On the other hand, the waste that has dissolved into this water should be quite nitrogen-rich. Perhaps I should collect some to feed the kids.


Time: 6:31 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


        The absolute nerve of some people! Here I am, existing quite unobtrusively in the basement, and some stupid human feels the need to come around and tape things to my door! It's a note:   

Dear Mold Man,

i gpt lots of mold and such you may like come take a looksy at my sweet trailer in the abandon lot.

Time: 6:32 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


          I hate people. 


Time: 6:50 am
Location: Trailer near the Garage
Temperature and Humidity: Same


          Taped this to the interrupter's door.

My Dear...Sir,

Allow me to begin by saying that if you wish to initiate relations with your fellow human beings, it may help to begin by correctly classifying their gender. As I am most emphatically NOT of the male persuasion, may I suggest a visit to the optometrist? Or perhaps a repeat of  kindergarten (They do still teach that sort of thing in kindergarten, right?). Either way, your sex identification skills want improving.

As to your...kind...invitation to visit your "sweet trailer," I shall be only too happy to decline. What you choose to do with your mold is your own damn problem. 

Yours sincerely, Marjorie Wilkins.

P.S. The next time you feel the need to interrupt other's lives, do find someone else's door to accost. The children do not deal with stress gracefully.

 Time: 7:00 am
Location: Outside Nuts 'n Bolts Hardware
Temperature and Humidity: Same


          Item #38 on Majorie Wilkins's List of Reasons Nuts 'n Bolts Hardware is Completely Inadequate: Unreasonable hours. Any decent hardware store should be open from 6:00 am to 9:00 pm, at minimum. Early morning emergencies, such as the necessity of weatherstripping or 5 gallon buckets, do not wait until 9:00 am Monday thru Friday, or 10:30 am on Saturday and Sunday.


Time: 7:30 am
Location: Steps into Watershed Heights main entrance
Temperature and Humidity: Same


         There's absolutely gigantic crowd of people near the fountain in the traffic circle. Apparently, someone has gone and gotten themselves hit by a bus. I don't see what all the fuss is about - if he was unable to get out of the bus's path, he doesn't deserve to be in the gene pool any longer. Darwin at work, plain and simple. 
         About time, too. If the people in this town keep reproducing, they'll outnumber the pigeons that seem to have converged here in less than a year.


Time: 7:32 am
Location: Watershed Heights lobby
Temperature: 21° Celsius 
Humidity: 30%


          The devil take the man who invented elevators. No self-respecting person should be forced into using a tiny box on a string as a feasible form of transportation. I'm not old enough for this! Damn rheumatism.


Time: 7:32 am
Location: In the twice-cursed Watershed Heights elevator
Temperature and Humidity: Same


        Hmmm. This is interesting. Rather than going down, as I requested, the elevator seems to have decided to go up. This will be an adventure...


Time: 7:35 am
Location: Still in the dratted elevator
Temperature and Humidity: Same


          Now the dratted thing has stopped. I shall be stuck in here forever and starve to death.


Time: 7:36 am
Location: I hate this elevator
Temperature and Humidity: Same


          I AM SAVED! The doors are opening!


Time: 7:37 am
Location: Elevator. Still.
Temperature and Humidity: Same


          Oh. Perhaps not the best time to get off. The landlady, a pretentious Italian girl, seems to be having some sort of confrontation with the teacherish-looking woman who helped me carry the wood into my basement yesterday. 
          "The crack in my ceiling is still there, and the rain has made it leak. Heavily. I put in a request a month ago..." the woman says. She's standing directly in the middle of the hall, like the landlady's been trying to sneak past.
          "We're getting right on it," the landlady snaps. Then, cringing back against the wall, "Now, please, I've got to get back to work."
          "Is there a time I can expect it handled by?" the woman asks the landlady's retreating back. She gets no answer

  
Time: 7:38 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


         Now the landlady's heading toward the elevator. I refuse to share the same box with someone so unapologetically rude. Building problems are everyone's concern. I brush past her as she gets on, making sure that I knock her with my elbow. Hard.


Time: 7:39 am
Location: Watershed Heights hallway, somewhere above the lobby
Temperature and Humidity: Same


         The landlady's behavior is so unsettling that I feel the need to say something to the woman with the leaky ceiling. But how does one start a conversation with someone who isn't a sniveling undergrad?


Time: 7:40 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


         She's turning to leave! 
         "Marjorie!" I blurt. Stupid, stupid way to start a conversation. Damn social skills. But at least she's stopped trying to leave. "I'm Marjorie," I manage to squeak out, "I was in the elevator and I saw what happened. If you need planters, or buckets, come to the basement and ask."
          She looks confused, so I repeat myself. She can't be this dense; she spoke coherently earlier...
          "The basement. I live there." Oh! She must be confused about the planters. I didn't give any context. Stupid. "Oh. The planters. They're for the leak, if you need something to catch the water."


Time: 7:41 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


         What was I thinking? I can't do this; she's still looking at me like I'm insane. I run for the elevators.


Time: 7:42 am
Location: Elevator door, same hall
Temperature and Humidity: Same


        Well, shuffle quickly for the elevators. I don't really run anymore, it's beneath me. 


Time: 7:43 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


         Come on, come on, come on....I've pushed the elevator button at least 40 times by now, but it's not helping. She's still standing there, looking at me. I NEED to get away.


Time: 7:45 am
Location: In the elevator, at last
Temperature and Humidity: Same


          I'm so happy to be out of that hallway that the elevator seems a welcome relief. It does seem to have decided to go up again, despite my mechanically transmitted instructions. Next time, I'm pushing the 'up' button. Maybe then I'll get where I'm supposed to be going...


Time: 7:53 am
Location: Watershed Heights roof
Temperature: 20° Celsius
Humidity: 100%


         Oh.


Time: 7:57 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same


         I'm getting soaked, and I don't even care. There's a garden on the roof.
      

Entry #476

Time: 10:00 am
Location: Watershed Heights basement, in the nursery
Temperature: 21° Celsius
Humidity: 23%

     All of the seedlings are situated! They look so peaceful in their little nursery, all snuggled up under the peat moss and grow lights, with the plastic sheeting misting over ever so slowly as they breathe. The fluorescents flicker softly as I oversee the dozens of benches filled with child-plants. It's cozy.  
     I just hope they'll survive the transplant shock...I couldn't bear it if one of them died.

Time: 10:09 am
Location: Watershed Heights Basement, across from the nursery, in the remnants of the boxes
Temperature and Humidity: Same

     God, I hate unpacking. And I ran out of wood and screws building benches for the kids, so now I know I'm going to have to find a hardware store if I want shelving for books. On the plus side, I found a mattress. And a dresser. Who just abandons stuff like that? The mattress is only a little stained, and the stuffing is mostly in. It might smell a little funny, I suppose, but really. Cat pee is actually quite nice, once you get used to it.

Time: 10:31 am
Location: Watershed Heights basement, office/sleeping area, next to the remnants of the boxes.
Temperature and Humidity: Same

THINGS TO DO:
> Go to hardware store:
    - 16 8 foot 2x4s
    - 5 pounds of 3 inch deck screws
    - 1 1/2 inch sheet of plywood
    - humidifier
    - potting soil
    - compost bin
> Deal with...people
> Build shelves and finish unpacking
> Make posters

Time: 11:15 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same

     There. That's one item off today's list - I've made the reward poster, though it is a bit strange that it's written in blue magic marker. I think my black Sharpie was in the same box as my compost formula...yet another reason I firmly believe that undergraduate students should be left in the dark to rot. Especially helpful airport ones. 

Time: 11:17 am
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same

     Drat. I need more than one copy of that stupid poster, don't I? Now I'm going to have to get back on that damn bus to find a copy shop. Wonderful.

Time: 11:30 am
Location: Watershed Heights Lobby
Temperature: 23° Celsius
Humidity: 24%

     There's some crazy woman being eaten by an instrument in the lobby. I don't care if she waves at me, I'm not going to wave back. She could be unstable.

Time: 11:34 am
Location: Watershed Heights Lobby
Temperature and Humidity: Same

     I left a Bartlett pear (Pyrus communis) seedling and a note explaining the tree was intended to pay my rent for the basement on the concierge's desk next to the phone. I do hope she takes care of it.
     Calm down, Margie-girl. There's nothing to worry about. If the floor keeps going like it is, by the time that tree is big enough to transplant into another pot there'll be enough dirt on the black-and-white (is it?) tile to sustain it as a freestanding organism. 

Time: 12:45 pm
Location: The stop for Bus #73 across from Watershed Heights
Temperature: 29.4° Celsius
Humidity: 42%

     God, I'm so glad I'm out of that death-box. 

Time: 12:46 pm
Location: Same
Temperature and Humidity: Same

     I bought some tape while I was out making copies. That should work with the posters, if it doesn't rain tonight. I've already stuck one to the mass of fliers papering the outside of the stop...where to next?

Time: 1:20 pm
Location: Watershed Heights basement, in BED
Temperature: 21° Celsius
Humidity: 23%

     I am getting too old to be out wallpapering the town like this. My knees hurt, my there is sweat pouring from under my straw hat, and I just know I'm going to have to wash my hair tonight because my bun is completely ruined. On top of that, I'm going to have to call my stuck-up podiatrist because my orthotics are sliding around again. I don't need his smarmy, self-satisfied speech about how I really should take better care of my feet. For heaven's sake, I'm only 57! I'm not dead yet!
    Hmph. I'll stick around for another 40 or 50 years out of pure contrariness. That'll show him.

Time: 1:59 pm
Location: Watershed Heights basement, in bed
Temperature and Humidity: Same

    Oh dear. I must have nodded off for a moment. I might be a touch older than I thought...

Time: 2:18 pm
Location: Outside Stop-n-Shop Grocery

Temperature: 29.4° Celsius

Humidity: 42%

     Will God smite me if I steal a cart from the grocery store across from a synagogue? If I move fast enough maybe the lightning will miss me. Can I move that fast?

     Anyway, I'll bring it right back. I can't carry 16 2x4s and a sheet of plywood by myself. That makes it better, right?

Time: 2:42

Location: Nuts 'n Bolts Hardware 

Temperature: 23° Celsius

Humidity: 24%

     Hmmm. This place is...adequate, I suppose. They lack completely any sort of decent garden center - not a single package of blood meal, if you can believe it - but there were a few depressed tomatoes, and a selection of organic potting mixes. That said, they did have all my shelving materials in stock, and a humidifier, so it wasn't a total loss. At least it smells right - that perfect co-mingling of chemical smells, dirt, grease, and sawdust makes me feel right at home.

    But that doesn't change anything. The manager is going to get an earful just as soon as I get around to writing a decently comprehensive letter of complaint. This place is in violation of at least 37 hardware store requirements.

    (And don't worry, little tomatoes. I'll be back for you the second I get your home set up. Hang in there!)

Time: 3:00 pm

Location: Watershed Heights basement

Temperature: 21° Celsius

Humidity: 23%

    Where did I put that blasted saw? I know I packed one - it was in the same box with my power drill and tape measure. 

Time: 3:04 pm

Location: Same

Temperature and Humidity: Same

    How the heck did it get under the mattress? I know I didn't put it there.

Time: 6:24 pm

Location: Same

Temperature and Humidity: Same

    One shelf done! I think that's enough for tonight...I'm ready to fall over. Bedtime...

Time: 9:39 pm

Location: Watershed Heights basement, in bed

Temperature: 20° Celsius
Humidity: 21.5%

     What was that!! Someone is outside. They'll probably try to murder me in my bed. Where is my hammer? I need something to keep the potential rapist-murderer outside away from me.

Time: 9:42 pm

Location: Second step leading out of the Watershed Heights basement

Temperature and Humidity: Same

     There's a shadowy...something tapping around out there. I wish I could see better, but the streetlights are broken, and my glasses have fogged. Damn vision.

Time: 9:43 pm

Location: Same

Temperature and Humidity: Same

     Wait! There's a bus coming...maybe I can see whatever it is in the headlights. It might be the only useful thing it ever does...

Time: 9:44 pm

Location: Same

Temperature and Humidity: Same

     Oh. It's just the man who runs the old cinema. What's he doing out so late? No one in their right mind would goes to the movies at this ungodly time of night.